Sometimes I wonder if all of my life is taking place in some sort of Jacobs Ladder-ian nightmare, like I’m not really living in “the real world” but some sort of meta-hell or meta-purgatory created from all my guilt and sin.
Well that got me thinking back to my wonderful memories of childhood sundays spent at the local Assembly of God. I remember there were these little tracts that were passed around, containing these odd little “fire-and-brimstone” comics about how Satan was coming to get us all and was in the details of everything. You may have seen them left around on park benches, public restrooms, parking garages (usually on your windshield), or if you’re a server at a restaurant you may have had one left at your table as a “tip” by some well meaning but utterly clueless individual.
Some frakheads even had the audacity to stick ’em inside children’s books in the library!
God what a creepy vibe those things had!
According to Psycho Dave, the webmaster of Weirdcrap.com, and curator of the Jack T. Chick Parody Archive;
“Rumor has it that back in the 50’s Chick was an aspiring Comic Book artist, who tried to get jobs at Marvel and D.C. Comics, but just didn’t have the kind of talent that they were looking for. Chick’s luck almost ran out, when he was born again, and decided to make comic books especially for a Christian audience…”
“Chick’s tracts are probably the best indicator of just how much medication this guy needs to be put on.”
Since I converted to the cult of C’thullhu – “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!!“ – I feel a whole lot better about mine – and the rest of our species fate.
To spread the word, I have made up these tracts available for .16 cents per pamphlet, or in bulk sets of 25 for only $4. Available in over 100 languages including Bocci and Klingon!
And remember folks – Everyone Loves C’thullhu Tracts!
By your command.