My Colonial Viper is like a box of chocolates…

Back in the day, when I was just a wee toaster, my best friend and I (who I’ll call Tom here, in order to protect his Cylon identity) set out to build a colonial viper in the back yard.

Yeah. A full-scale 1:1 replica of a Colonial Frakking Viper.

Now you’ll have to excuse our naivete as the Imperious Leader had not yet granted us with our 2nd and 3rd brain nodes, so we haplessly set out to construct this albatross.

Ah, the memories; sitting in the back of the lunch room or library with him drawing up schematics and blueprints; gathering up ‘parts’ from junkyards and from our perplexed father’s basements; watching the show on Sunday nights with a sketchpad in hand attempting to copy down the control panel configurations (and memorizing the 7-Step launch routine);  aggravating our art teachers with endless drawings of vipers, and of course, the hateful stares and constant beatings on the playground…

Good times indeed.
Of course we never actually got around to building the frakking thing, but we had a great time bonding over the project.

Tom told me that he once came across this at a car show:

ViperCar

From zero to nerd in 2.3 seconds!

I think the closest I ever actually got to our goal was when I constructed a ‘cockpit’ out of an empty box of chocolates . Yeah, don’t ask.

I can tell you that it certainly did not look like this:

Gods, the things rich nerds get up to these days…

So, flash forward about 30 yahrns later and imagine my surprise when I was surfing the net (innocently searching for naked pictures of Caprica Six) when I came upon this;

Backyard Viper

Lucky little frakker

“The chicks are gonna totally dig me now!”

Turns out Tom and I weren’t the only wack-jobs out there!

I can’t tell you the excitement I felt when a certain sugar-cereal (maybe it was Honey Comb or Cap’n Crunch) offered a Colonial Viper cockpit that you could send away for.  Oh how my little Cylon heart lusted for that thing! Sadly I was unable to convince the parental unit to cough up the cubits (or box-tops) for it.  Then I found out that a neighbor kid had sent away for one, so I rushed over to his house to check it out.

Turns out it was cardboard.

Frakkers probably stole the idea from my box o’ chocolate construction!

By your command,

Cy

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