News anchors call for Half Naked Wonder Woman while Thor Gets transformed into a ladyboy. Popeye loses his pipe.

FOX and Friends recently made comments about how certain comic book characters have been ‘wussified’.

article-2693269-1FAA40A600000578-394_634x960First, they complained about recent test footage for a Popeye cartoon, where he did not have a pipe or tattoos. They lamented the fact that smoking is a masculine activity and Popeye not engaging it makes him less manly.article-0-1C2A3E8200000578-879_634x670

First, do they really believe this? Here’s a shock: This is no longer 1953 and women are allowed to smoke, publicly. Second, isn’t smoking in movies considered wrong because of the conservatively run MPAA? If you truly have a problem with this, maybe you should be talking to your own people. Finally, I always felt not showing smoking in TV and movies because it ‘glamorizes’ it is ridiculous. You want to show smoking without glamorizing it? That’s easy, show the negative effects. Show Popeye going through cancer treatment and dying a long, lingering death. Maybe that will satisfy FOX and Friends.

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FOX then complained about the fact that there will soon be a female Thor, something that was mentioned many months ago, which gives you an idea how ‘in the know’ these people who are in the news business are. In fact, the one guy kept going on about how Thor now has breasts, which really points to the fact that this guy has some issues…

 

 

Comic book fans would be more upset about a woman becoming Thor if not for one thing: It happens all the time. There have been a number of superheroes who have been replaced not just by women, but by minorities as well. And, guess what? It never lasts. Eventually, the original Thor will go back to being Thor, and the woman replacing him will go on to do something else. (FOX and Friends would probably suggest that she go back to doing housework.)

FOX even complained about the Wonder Woman costume shown for the upcoming Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice movie. They complained about it not being red, white and blue enough, but more vehemently because it was not revealing enough, and suggested that if Wonder Woman has a hot body, she should flaunt it and shake that moneymaker.

Though I do not think all super-heroine costumes are over sexualized, you have to admit that a lot of them look like they’re ready to go dance on a pole.

But, still, maybe we should not pick on FOX and Friends so much. They just want women to stop engaging in manly activities; to flaunt their goods if they have it; and to make them a sammich.

 


Comic book fans would be more upset about a woman becoming Thor if not for one thing: It happens all the time. There have been a number of superheroes who have been replaced not just by women, but by minorities as well. And, guess what? It never lasts. Eventually, the original Thor will go back to being Thor, and the woman replacing him will go on to do something else. (FOX and Friends would probably suggest that she go back to doing housework.)

FOX even complained about the Wonder Woman costume shown for the upcoming Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice movie. They complained about it not being red, white and blue enough, but more vehemently because it was not revealing enough, and suggested that if Wonder Woman has a hot body, she should flaunt it and shake that moneymaker.

Though I do not think all super-heroine costumes are over sexualized, you have to admit that a lot of them look like they’re ready to go dance on a pole.

But, still, maybe we should not pick on FOX and Friends so much. They just want women to stop engaging in manly activities; to flaunt their goods if they have it; and to make them a sammich.

Game of Thrones Actor is Aquaman

So, Aquaman is going to be in the Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice movie, and he’ll be played by Jason Momoa (known to Game of Thrones fans as Khal Drogo).

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It may surprise readers to know that Aquaman is a character near and dear to my heart, and I think this is good news.

Aquaman has always been a victim of bad press, though this is part of his charm. There are thousands of jokes about how lame Aquaman is, and there may even be a song or two out there about it.

But, for us fans of Aquaman, this only makes him more relatable. After all, how many of us would like to be taken more seriously? But hell, Aquaman just doesn’t care. He’s not like say, Submariner, who is so insecure that he needs to wear tiny speedos and throws hissy fits resulting in his invading New York once a month.

No, Aquaman just smiles at the jokes and realizes one simple fact: He is the King of The Seven seas. That pretty much makes him the most powerful political leader on the planet.

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Also he has a hot wife named Mera who looks kind of like Daenerys Stormborn. Only with redhair.

If he is lame, what does that make you?
By making Jason Momoa Aquaman, he becomes someone the naysayers would like to make fun of, but, even if you put the orange and green costume on him, he still looks better than you do in your cosplay Predator costume.

And, if you’re really nice to him, maybe he’ll give you a golden crown.

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Blood Red Moon Fever

On April 15th, the moon is going to turn red. Blood Red. For many of us, this is a cool scientific phenomenon caused by a solar eclipse and we’re going to be outside to look at it in awe. But, for others, it is evidence that the world is going to end soon… yet again.
Okay, I kind of worried about Y2K, because there was an actual physical problem we had to deal with, but, because we saw it coming, it was prevented. I almost get why people got into a tizzy over the Mayan calendar prediction that December 21st, 2012 was going to be the end of everything, based on the science they learned on the internet that the planets were going to align just as solar flares were going to hit Earth, but this proved to be pseudo science at its finest. I once talked to someone who believed the Mayan calendar prediction, and brought up that 11/11/11 was coming and there are numerologists who think this will be the end of the world. His answer to that was, “Those people are crazy.”
So, the big freak out this time is based on a passage in the Bible that says a blood red moon will mark the coming of our Lord. (For the religious, this is code for the end of everything, so you better pray to God right now if you want to go to heaven.) Now, I am not saying that the end of the world is not coming someday. That, in fact, is inevitable, and it’s possible it could happen in our lifetime. But, just consider the statement made by a little known religious philosopher you many have heard of named Jesus Christ, who said that not even the angels in heaven will know when the end of the world coming.
To be honest, what scares me more is these people don’t just think the end is coming, they WANT it to come. I once watched an episode of Doomsday Preppers, where a toothless redneck who turned his basement into a fallout shelter said, “I’m gonna have to repopulate this here planet.” That, in itself, is a real reason nobody should ever want the end of the world to come.
I get it: I waited for years for a radioactive meteorite to land near me and give me super powers so I could become a superhero. But, I didn’t wish for the death and destruction of everything I hold dear to get it. Because, I know, you seem to think when civilization falls apart, you are going to survive to become Daryl Dixon. But, isn’t it more likely that you’re going to become Gilligan?

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Joe Bob Briggs – A Eulogy

I’ve recently been thinking about one of my heroes when it comes to pop culture commentary: Joe Bob Briggs.

I first saw him on the Movie Channel as a host of Joe Bob Briggs’ Drive-In Theater, which would show B-movies, often horror films, you would expect to see in, well, drive-ins.
He wasn’t your typical horror host, dressing up as a monster and making crass comments on the movies. No, instead, he dressed as a cowboy (I think he WAS a cowboy) and had an affable way about him. He was also not your typical movie critic, who treated their job like they were performing God’s work while boiling down the quality of a movie by utilizing such simple minded techniques as a star system or ‘thumbs up and thumbs down’. Briggs actually exhibited affection for these movies, no matter how bad, and the closest thing he came to giving the audience the idea of the movie’s quality was saying something like: “10 breasts, constant aardvarking, 5 explosions, a nail to the head, a sword in the chest, constant playing of ‘Riders on the Storm’. Joe Bob says, check it out.”

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When his show was cancelled, he later appeared as the host of Monstervision on the TNT network, where he pretty much did the same thing.

I read his newsletter, which had reviews and insightful essays about anything that was in his brain at the time, as well as an ‘advice for the hopeless’ column. There was a ‘name that movie’ section where people would describe a scene of a movie that they could not remember the name of, and readers would write in the answer.

Briggs was in an episode of Bill Maher’s Politically Incorrect (a show known to get incendiary with its views) where he said the funniest line of the night:

‘Can I give the redneck opinion on divorce? Now, we Texans would love the 50/50 law they have in California, because it would mean we would split a $20,000 credit card bill.’

Joe Bob’s alter ego was known to Daily Show viewers as John Bloom, a correspondent  who did a segment called God Stuff, in which he commented on the crazy stuff televangelists did. He could have been vicious in his criticisms, Instead, he was gently irreverent, not mocking religion but rather the silliness of people in general. He went on to publish ‘The Door Magazine’, billed as “the world’s pretty much only religious satire magazine”.

What I appreciated most about Joe Bob Briggs was he realized the folly of criticism. He knew he wasn’t the final authority on anything and saw no point being nasty, especially since you were discussing the work of people who were doing the things you wished you were doing. I try very hard to be like Joe Bob Briggs, to the point I sometimes take on an irreverent persona to make a ridiculous point. Sometimes I fail because I get too passionate about the things I care about – but I do try. It’s too bad other critics, especially we amateur bloggers, do not strive to do the same.

Check out the video of Briggs in action and watch the smooth brilliance in action.

 

Taking the Face Off Reality TV

I’m not usually a fan of reality TV, because it’s often aimed at the lowest common denominator. I admit, I watched the first season of Survivor, because there was nothing like it on TV before, but got tired with how the venal people won because it turns out people who play dirty always win in the end.
Still, it got much worse. Suddenly, there were shows about spoiled rich people who would be working at a fast food restaurant if they weren’t living off daddy’s trust fund, because they lack any marketable skills or souls. And, white trash, who would proudly show off their stupidity for small amounts of cash like a homeless man in a bum fight.
Still, once in a great while, there is inspirational reality television. I enjoy the second half of Biggest Loser, since the first half is written by evil corporate executives coming up with creative ways to taunt and mock fat people. But, the second half is about the hard work these people put into becoming… well, better. We watch as these people not only lose weight, but fix psychological damage that had held them back for years. By coincidence, there is usually one couple a year who fall in love and have a successful marriage, which, when you compare that to the Bachelor, where nobody ever ends up happily ever after, seems like quite a magic trick.
My favorite show, partly because it is a genre show, is Face Off on the SyFy Network. Face Off is about ridiculously talented special effects artists who are put in a competition where they are tasked to make different get-ups. One week, they’ll be asked to create zombies in Wonderland, next week it’s a realistic alien creature, still another an original super hero. The show is fun for me because we get to see how creative minds work, the troubles they have to go through, and, shockingly, these creative people actually helping each other out. When it should be in their best interest to watch a colleague fall on their face, they help them open a mold or give an opinion that leads them to a better idea. The show ends with these amazing make-ups, and the worst one has to leave the show. The winner ends up winning money and the chance to do make-up for an actual movie or TV show.
I have had people make snipes about the show – about how real movie shoots wouldn’t put you through that and it’s doubtful any of these people will truly get their dream jobs. But, isn’t it better seeing these successful people showing what it takes to be successful, than to see a teenager getting pregnant in the hopes that their stupidity will lead to an MTV show?