No, this is not about genetic experiments gone wrong in the KFC labs. Contine reading
On April 15th, the moon is going to turn red. Blood Red. For many of us, this is a cool scientific phenomenon caused by a solar eclipse and we’re going to be outside to look at it in awe. But, for others, it is evidence that the world is going to end soon… yet again.
Okay, I kind of worried about Y2K, because there was an actual physical problem we had to deal with, but, because we saw it coming, it was prevented. I almost get why people got into a tizzy over the Mayan calendar prediction that December 21st, 2012 was going to be the end of everything, based on the science they learned on the internet that the planets were going to align just as solar flares were going to hit Earth, but this proved to be pseudo science at its finest. I once talked to someone who believed the Mayan calendar prediction, and brought up that 11/11/11 was coming and there are numerologists who think this will be the end of the world. His answer to that was, “Those people are crazy.”
So, the big freak out this time is based on a passage in the Bible that says a blood red moon will mark the coming of our Lord. (For the religious, this is code for the end of everything, so you better pray to God right now if you want to go to heaven.) Now, I am not saying that the end of the world is not coming someday. That, in fact, is inevitable, and it’s possible it could happen in our lifetime. But, just consider the statement made by a little known religious philosopher you many have heard of named Jesus Christ, who said that not even the angels in heaven will know when the end of the world coming.
To be honest, what scares me more is these people don’t just think the end is coming, they WANT it to come. I once watched an episode of Doomsday Preppers, where a toothless redneck who turned his basement into a fallout shelter said, “I’m gonna have to repopulate this here planet.” That, in itself, is a real reason nobody should ever want the end of the world to come.
I get it: I waited for years for a radioactive meteorite to land near me and give me super powers so I could become a superhero. But, I didn’t wish for the death and destruction of everything I hold dear to get it. Because, I know, you seem to think when civilization falls apart, you are going to survive to become Daryl Dixon. But, isn’t it more likely that you’re going to become Gilligan?
I’ve recently been thinking about one of my heroes when it comes to pop culture commentary: Joe Bob Briggs.
I first saw him on the Movie Channel as a host of Joe Bob Briggs’ Drive-In Theater, which would show B-movies, often horror films, you would expect to see in, well, drive-ins.
He wasn’t your typical horror host, dressing up as a monster and making crass comments on the movies. No, instead, he dressed as a cowboy (I think he WAS a cowboy) and had an affable way about him. He was also not your typical movie critic, who treated their job like they were performing God’s work while boiling down the quality of a movie by utilizing such simple minded techniques as a star system or ‘thumbs up and thumbs down’. Briggs actually exhibited affection for these movies, no matter how bad, and the closest thing he came to giving the audience the idea of the movie’s quality was saying something like: “10 breasts, constant aardvarking, 5 explosions, a nail to the head, a sword in the chest, constant playing of ‘Riders on the Storm’. Joe Bob says, check it out.”
When his show was cancelled, he later appeared as the host of Monstervision on the TNT network, where he pretty much did the same thing.
I read his newsletter, which had reviews and insightful essays about anything that was in his brain at the time, as well as an ‘advice for the hopeless’ column. There was a ‘name that movie’ section where people would describe a scene of a movie that they could not remember the name of, and readers would write in the answer.
Briggs was in an episode of Bill Maher’s Politically Incorrect (a show known to get incendiary with its views) where he said the funniest line of the night:
‘Can I give the redneck opinion on divorce? Now, we Texans would love the 50/50 law they have in California, because it would mean we would split a $20,000 credit card bill.’
Joe Bob’s alter ego was known to Daily Show viewers as John Bloom, a correspondent who did a segment called God Stuff, in which he commented on the crazy stuff televangelists did. He could have been vicious in his criticisms, Instead, he was gently irreverent, not mocking religion but rather the silliness of people in general. He went on to publish ‘The Door Magazine’, billed as “the world’s pretty much only religious satire magazine”.
What I appreciated most about Joe Bob Briggs was he realized the folly of criticism. He knew he wasn’t the final authority on anything and saw no point being nasty, especially since you were discussing the work of people who were doing the things you wished you were doing. I try very hard to be like Joe Bob Briggs, to the point I sometimes take on an irreverent persona to make a ridiculous point. Sometimes I fail because I get too passionate about the things I care about – but I do try. It’s too bad other critics, especially we amateur bloggers, do not strive to do the same.
Check out the video of Briggs in action and watch the smooth brilliance in action.
All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.
Well it’s happening again…we think…maybe…supposedly.
We’re learning not to get our hopes too high about these things here at RedEye Rogue, but sources confirm that a new Battlestar Galactica feature film is in the works.
Hot diggity damn!
This all new reboot is to be penned by Jack Paglen – the same guy who is giving us the upcoming Transcendence.
Now some people are saying that this is a bad idea for so many reasons. But we’re not going to retread all that felcercarb here. Instead we’d like to bring up some reasons why this is nothing but good for Battlestar Galactica.
Battlestar Galactica transcends the medium or format that it is told in. It has become a ‘mythos’. A grand mythos at that. As such it can be told many ways in many different forms.
Let’s take a look at the “essentials” of Battlestar.
In a distant part of the galaxy, twelve tribes of humans are at war with the robotic cylons. After a long and bloody struggle the war ends with the cylons retreating to their own world. Years later the cylons come back, and with the help of a human named Baltar, wipe out the 12 colonies. Only one millitary ship – the Battlestar Galactica – an aircraft carrier in space – survives the destruction. The only civilians that escape are those stuck on spaceships at the time of the attack. The Galactica rounds up the surviving civilian ships and forms a ragtag fugitive fleet. Commander Adama unites the survivors and gives them something to live and fight for; the search for the mythical 13th tribe – a planet known to the people only through myth and religious stories. A planet called Earth.
Does it really matter how that story is told, as long as the stories that are told are compelling, right, and dramatic?
Does it really matter if Starbuck is a man, or a woman, or Boomer is a cylon or if it’s a comic book, cartoon, tv show or pantomime theatre?
There are certain things that I think must remain consistent through any incarnation however:
Baltar can never, EVER be a cylon.
It is essential to the mythos that Baltar be a sort of “traitor” – the ultimate betrayal. Be it willful, knowing, or unknowing, Baltar has to be the human that helped the cylons wipe out the 12 colonies.
There must always be an Adama, an Apollo, a Starbuck, and a Boomer.
The colonials should worship “The Lord’s of Kobol” and believe the “gods” will guide them to the promised land of “Earth”.
Apollo is the first born son of Adama, and his brother Zack is killed in a viper.
No word yet on who’s directing, but sources tell us that J.J. Abrams was spotted over at Universal trying to drop his resume off at the Human Resources Department.
By Your Command.
Earlier today, I found paperwork piling up on my desk in unacceptable amounts. It got so bad I had to cancel naptime because I kept thinking, shit, if that tower of useless forms falls over on me, I’ll be trapped under it and have to chew off my leg just to take my 3:00 smoke break Contine reading